10. The engineering of the second Ebola Virus, but this time around, it only makes your skin covered in delightful polka dots.

9. They found out that earwax comes from your perineum (look it up).

8. Apparently, drinking Liquid Plummer is bad for you.

7. Monkeys look funny when they wear a lab coat.

6. A Chihuahua doesn't explode in the microwave like in that urban legend, just burns up.

5. Rats don't eat metal.

4. Gerbil food does not make your voice funny.

3. Professional wrestling is choreographed!

2. A cure for cancer. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA