10. make out with a baboon's ass
9. hump a stranger's dog
8. tie some frogs to your shoulder and occasionally say "ARR my pretties"
7. throw dead moles at anyone you don't know and yell "I am the Lindenberg baby, all shall hail me!"
6. carry a live cat in a vacuum bag and try to sell it to people with umbrellas
5. wear a kangaroo as a hat, putting it's pouch over your head hanging it upside down
4. fill in a zebra's white stripes with black spray paint
3. switch a penguin and a baby at the maternity ward
2. train a dog to smell people's genitals and bite on command
1. sell dead squirrels at a street corner near a hotdog stand