10. Don't inject genitals with hydrochloric acid.

9. Do not attempt to light eyeballs on fire without parental supervision.

8. When sticking dynamite up the nose, make sure it is not lit.

7. When making a banana split, make sure the banana is what you think it is.

6. The ebola virus is not a toy.

5. Try not to get run over by a bus.

4. Do not experiment with plastic explosives in an airplane

3. When making ransom phone calls, make sure not to tell them your address.

2. If police tell you to put your hands up, it isn't a good thing to drop your pants and scream "My prosthetic dick is really a gun!"